I’ve always loved to write – it all started with teenage journals and innocent poems of youth and grew into a way to heal what often felt like wounds too deep to know without the written word. Over the last few years, I’ve had an aching desire to resurrect my love for words, and so, some time back, I gave birth to my Blog, Helping Hearts Awaken.
Somehow I never made it past the first few birthing pains. Labor was stalled due to one problem – a big one – I wasn’t writing. I wanted to write. I thought about writing. I set intentions to write. I had wonderful ideas to write about, and yet, I rarely wrote . . .
. . . until recently – when my heart was cracked open by the sudden death of someone who left this world far too early. At first, I had no words, only tears and so much heartache. Soul-wrenching, gut-burning, spirit-crashing heartache. And then, with my heart wide open, the words started coming.
The irony is not lost on me that I named my blog something I, myself, needed help with – awakening my heart. And, I’m crushed in so many ways that it took an unspeakable tragedy for that to happen for me. Oh, don’t get me wrong, it’s not as if I haven’t had my share of heart-opening moments, it’s just that I’ve never experienced my heart fracturing so deeply – and I’ve never experienced my current desire to keep that fracture as open as possible.
You see I’ve learned in the past few weeks that with great love, comes great sorrow – that, really, the only reason we feel intense grief and loss is because we chose, at some point, to have real joy and attachment. So, at this moment in my life, I’m choosing joy and attachment – I’m choosing love.
And with this love, I’m going to choose words, and I’m going to choose to share them.
So I’m back in labor – full on. Pushing, sweating, crying, and screaming. And, I don’t feel quite as attached to what gets delivered. Instead, I find myself much more interested in the journey and in the words – what they feel like and how they resonate with my soul.
I’ve always loved to write, and I’m so excited to be back.